I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I can't put those talents on a resume
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
