is your mom at the bar?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Please don't give away my fajitas
God I need to hump something, right now.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
