Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
