Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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