how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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