OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
