I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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