Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
