I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
