You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
