Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
