I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
