Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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