If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
