So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
