My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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