Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
