what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
