We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
