Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
