so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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