i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize