I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
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