Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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