I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
