wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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