From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
