dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
