Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
