I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
