just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My dick has a subreddit
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
