No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize