Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Porn is love you can see.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
