he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
