he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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