Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
