remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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