She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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