Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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