Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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