it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
it was like having sex with a tree stump
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
