Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
