i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
