i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
