Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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