So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
