My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
