I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
