god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
