WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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