She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
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