We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
