Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
