So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
