i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
