just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
