I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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