I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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