Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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